A Rose Is A Rose Is A . . . Yeah, Sorry. Couldn't Help Myself!

Via Facebook messenger, late in the evening on May 4, 2010.

[Side note: I went to high school with the person asking the question--hence all the geography that means nothing to the rest of you. Also, this didn't fit the standard Q. and A. format, so I switched to Q. and Garden Ninja]

Q. Okay since you are a gardening whiz...what zone is Romney in? Not that I even know what a zone is.

GN. Romney is roughly in zone 6. But . . . !

Q. Oh, here comes the bad news...

GN. A zone is basically a measure of how harsh the weather is, how short the growing season is, etc. Smaller numbers = more arctic, larger numbers = more tropical.

GN. But . . . ! You have to account for microclimates.

Q. WHAT!?!?!??!?! That is just way too brainy... what is a microclimate!? Lol, I'm hopeless.

GN. Sometimes a particular valley will be a little warmer, or it will be colder near a river, or it'll be affected by surrounding buildings, pavement, etc. You're not hopeless! You just have to try things out. Use the zone as a guideline, and experiment.

Q. Ahhhh, like Hampshire High is ALWAYS colder than Romney town.

G.N. Exactly. Elevation is a factor.

Q. Well see here's my thing. There's a rose tree that I LOVE, only rose I like for that matter.

G.N. Cool . . . what kind?

Q. Fire and Ice.

GN. Ooh! One of the two-toned ones! I love those.

Q. Yup, pure white and bright red. Gorgeous. Yeah, it's got to be in zone 6 or warmer.

GN. You should be fine. You might have to baby it a little over winter--trim it back and mulch over it a little. Here's a pretty good link about rose care in winter. http://www.uri.edu/ce/factsheets/sheets/roseswinter.html

"For maximum winter protection, cover the rose bush with a protective cylinder. Use straw, leaves, or similar material to insulate the bush inside the cone. Puncture several one inch holes around the top of the cone for air circulation."

GN. I usually do the thing they talk about with a cone and straw, except I used upturned tomato cages and leaves, lol! It's what I had around.

Q. I will definitely refer to that. Thanks for the info!

GN. If you have any problems with the rose, let me know. Have you gotten it yet, or are you just ordering it now?

Q. Just looking into it. If I order it bare root, I may want to wait. I am still reading up on all that stuff.

GN. Good plan! The next thing I was going to say was to make sure to read up on proper planting technique BEFORE you shove the poor thing into the ground.

Q. I like picking out flowers and weeding, but not all the landscaping stuff my hubby is supposed to know. Unfortunately, he's from Rhode Island and was never in an area to even see a Fire and Ice.

GN. If he's ever planted fruit trees or any large shrub, the principles are the same. Huge hole, good backfill, water faithfully until it settles in. Good placement, too--plenty of sun.

Q. Yeah he's done TONS of that. Cool, so he'll know the basics. Thanks again for the info.

GN. No problem.

Sun, Shade, and Everything In Between.

A few weeks ago, via text.

Q. Can you grow tomatoes in part shade, or do they need a lot of sun? [paraphrased, as I've accidentally deleted the message]

A. Sorry, dude, tomatoes absolutely require a minimum of six hours of sun per day. No wiggle room. [Also paraphrased, and I seem to recall having used the words "boned," "screwed," or similar colorful euphemisms to describe his chances of getting a productive tomato harvest from the shady part of the yard]

More Info/Follow-Up: I have no idea why he was asking this; he grew great tomatoes in large containers on his (sunny) back porch last year, and has decided to do so again this year.

This question, whatever the inscrutable reasoning behind it, is a great example of some people's approach to gardening, especially in the early learning stages. They see that there's a little leeway between, say, full shade and part shade, or between "well drained soil" and not so well drained soil. They note that some plants survive through a light frost, and some even through a moderate freeze. They see experienced gardeners walk these fine lines with fair or even good results.

They assume, therefore, that the guidelines are arbitrary and mostly put there to annoy them. That's when the trouble starts.

"I put all eleven of my basil plants out early and they were doing great, but we had a few cool nights and now they're all dying of black spot fungus. The plants must have been defective!" (been there, done that)

"Can't understand why the marigolds and argeratum aren't doing well out back. Trees? Well, yeah, I guess I do have a few trees. And a bridge. And a some tall buildings. Why do you ask?" (guilty)

"Well, I dug down far enough to plant the rose bush, and maybe a little wider than the root ball, but I didn't feel like hacking through all that clay so I sort of stuffed it in and threw some dirt back around it. Is that why it looks like that?" (Only once! And it was a crappy rose bush to begin with. Really it was.)

Yes, experience and experimentation are absolutely the best way to learn! The question is: how many plants do you want to kill for each lesson? You can (briefly, partially) cheat Mother Nature. You can phone it in, you can half-ass it, you can make it up as you go along . . . but trust me when I tell you that you will have infinitely better results if you educate yourself about what conditions are best for which plants, and then make good use of that information.

In the interim, I should warn you that the rest of us are taking it in shifts to walk past your sad, straggly tomato plants, your drooping basil, and your dead flowers and mutter a few words of sympathy. We assure them you'll learn. We're not sure they believe us.